February 14, 2018 | Divorce

written by: Frank Younes

Recently, we have seen various articles being published on-line for people contemplating filing for divorce or currently going through a divorce. You may have seen these as well, they are usually titled “X Things to do before filing for Divorce”, “Divorce Survival Guide”, “Planning for Divorce”, or “Things Not to Do When Getting Divorced”. These articles typically include various tips on how to handle yourself leading up to and during divorce, some of which maybe useful and some just not.

The suggestions are usually along the lines of:
• Make sure you want to get divorced
• Hire a good divorce attorney
• Interview several divorce attorneys
• Get an idea of where you stand financially
• Gather Financial Documents
• Gather proof of income
• Make a post-divorce budget
• Establish credit in your own name
• Evaluate joint financial accounts
• Close all joint credit accounts
• Make necessary purchases or sales
• Prepare a martial balance sheet
• Set money aside
• Get a copy of your credit report
• Figure out your living situation
• Keep a journal
• Avoid social media
• See a therapist
• Determine your goals for child custody
• Make a plan for the children
• Consider the children’s best interest
• Don’t get Pregnant
• Don’t wait
• Don’t be scared
• Don’t be anxious

This list could go on and on with advice from different people that have gone through divorce, financial professionals, attorneys, friends and family. That does not mean they are right for everyone. Here’s the first thing to keep in mind: Every couple, spouse, relationship, child, family, jurisdiction, and circumstance are different, and no one set of rules apply to all.

The overriding constant in your relationship with your spouse, or soon to be ex-spouse, should be reasonableness on your part.

Reasonableness does not mean that you should give in, it does not mean that you should be a push over, it does not mean that you should except anything less than you or your children are entitled to, it simply means that you in all situations should act level headed, calm, courteous, and not cause problems where there otherwise would not be; also that should your spouse choose to be not reasonable that you do not feed into it, just because the other person may choose to act inappropriately, does not mean that it is acceptable for you to do so.

Know that should you or your spouse file for divorce and not be able to come to an agreed-to resolution, a Judge (someone you have never met before,) will have to consider your situation from an outside perspective and come to a determination based on his/her impression of your situation. When going through a divorce that last thing that you want is to be considered by the Court is to be not credible, untrustworthy, or the problem, as this will not serve your interest.

And finally, the last rule:  As for your divorce proceedings, do not hire the first attorney that you meet.

Research attorneys, meet with as many as you need to until you find the one that you feel comfortable speaking to and taking advice from. This person is going to advise you in a situation that will affect yours and your children’s lives together.

About the Author: Frank Younes

Frank Younes is a Nebraska native who earned his Juris Doctor from Creighton University School of Law. Prior to that he obtained a Bachelors of Science in Business Administration. The combination of these types of education has provided him with a sharpened focus on applying his legal education to the business world. While attending law school he gained additional legal experience working as a law clerk in the District Court, where he assisted the District Court Judges in determining the outcomes of various types of cases. He then went on to be mentored by one of the most respected members of the Omaha legal community.

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